


The Center of the Star

by 1117



Series: You Were There Among All Stars [1]
Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Gods & Goddesses, Astronomy, Emotional, Falling In Love, Hongjoong!God of Star, M/M, Magic, Seonghwa!New Soul, Soulmates, Souls, Stars, Supernatural Elements, Touching, the universe god is a woman because i say so, universe - Freeform, wrote this because Seonghwa is a first born star and I will never be over it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:20:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26745025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1117/pseuds/1117
Summary: A lonely God of Stars.That was what Hongjoong had always thought himself of.But soon, he realized that his happiness was somewhere so close, from something so near, from the place where the little spect of firstborn soul was, and he was willing to follow it until the end.
Relationships: Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Series: You Were There Among All Stars [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2113101
Comments: 14
Kudos: 79





	The Center of the Star

**Author's Note:**

> I AM NOT OVER WITH THE FIRST BORN SEONGHWA THING AS A (very amateur) PALM-READER I AM SO EMOTIONAL KNOWING THAT THIS IS HIS FIRST LIFE. (This is my 5th life and im SO GLAD i get to know him in this lifetime I WILL NEVER BE OVER IT
> 
> SO DEAL WITH ME 😭😭
> 
> (recommend reading this using dark mode for the aesthetic purpose :>, spent a moment to make this work skin and i think it looks magnificent)
> 
> _p.s: finally able to change the publication day into Nov 7th :'D_  
>  Happy Birthday Kim Hongjoong!!!! __

\- For background space/universe sound. :>

⋆⋆⋆

t wasn’t the force of any logical explanation to back up his statement in being attracted to one individual. It wasn’t his fault for withholding the greatness of a pure soul in the expansion of endless other spirits spiking through the dark, fantastic universe, and afterward, unconsciously, falling deeply in love.

He was, still is, but would never be eternally the god of stars. Many factors existed that could push one responsibility of a being away from them, away from their duty.

He didn’t remember how long he had lived, or how much time he had left before it was the universe's end to call for his return, exploding into the very bits of matters surrounding and blended back to where he had first come from. It wasn't a specific place. It was just a thought. But it existed. And it was there.

He had seen the line of reincarnation endlessly flew through the bright golden light of life, inspecting so many colorful souls in different pieces and parts of knowledge and experience. Hongjoong tried to comprehend their pains, happiness, trauma, and love. He wanted to fully understand them.

It had been a journal of his observation, yet, almost becoming a journey for him.

He wasn't sure what his purpose was at first. His existence, his will, or his job. He was there, with an hourglass in hand. The white sand flew down slowly over the vast expansion of the universe, where it silently whispered his steps. He didn't know where to go, or where to stop, or where to look for the will of his presence. But time was an illusion.

Then, at some point, he was there. Somewhere lost in the dark, cold, and mysterious world, he was staring at a ball of life sprinkling over the sphere.

He didn't know how would the numerical system works, but he heard it; the beings that existed in the little world, the bright surrounded green and blue harmonized in a balanced manner, the unseen forest of trees and the swallowed of saltwater waved through the direction where the wind had blown.

Hongjoong had sat there, from the darkness of the different world, staring at the little thing where the little heartbeats of lives would be.

Earth.

Or it was what they called, though it took him quite long to know the name. By then, he had started adapting to how the humans' (he also learned those words as he observed) numerical system operated and started counting; it was around...what was it? Four billion years ago? Roughly there? When he began learning new things about the little greenery ball that revolved around the Solar System.

It was nice in some part, helping them, guiding these helpless souls once they started losing track and stumbled across places where they didn’t know of.

Despite the lack of knowledge of where he had from, Hongjoong knew what he had to do, and had been doing such work for the span of two million years, maybe still counting, he wasn't sure, but he was getting there.

Sometimes, it felt lonely when he thought about it. He didn’t really have anyone to talk to, and though wandering through the line of stars and galaxies to reach those he knew of, they seemed to occupy over their jobs rather than listening to his observations.

The good thing, however, was that the humans had taken some interest in him.

Maybe someone had told them, had revealed a secret, he wasn't caught on with that, but once in a while, they would look at him and began praying, or jotting down words onto their weird white items. And he realized something familiar about their actions. It reminded of himself. They have also observed him as to how he observed them.

And it raised wonderment into his thoughts.

Hongjoong also studied them, watching over the little things they did, and saw the long lifetime events that by-crossing his starry eyes every moment he captured, flowing through the long shiny line of the hourglass as the sand dropping down into the bottom sphere. He waited longingly as he knew it wouldn't be ending soon until a new cycle ready to rebirth.

One of those times, he would like to fly down and visit the Earth. Visit its people. But the thought seemed to be impossible.

So, here he was, flying through the seemingly dark sky as he bathed in the magic of wonderment, of souls and spirits gushing through the lightless in his fingertips; where he guided them toward the location he planned them to be. Space was distant enough for him to form the dust surrounding them. Then let it waited for the long-term years after. A new star would be born.

It was a cycle of all matter that existed, no matter where one went. And it kept intriguing him the more he learned to see his ability as if he had entered another dimension, even if it was plainly coming from the center of his fingertips.

He has guided so much power, so many emotions, and so many stories with him. Including the people who have joined him and have entered his world. And he expanded his hands welcomingly, allowing these poor little souls to be comfortable with what he could offer. A part of that would likely calm his own soul if he willing to let it showed. He guided them toward where they wanted to belong.

Some souls have requested him to lay them near where their families were, so they could see them every night as they watch the starry night, and he was compliant with their requests. He had learned many emotions throughout his observations, and he knew that it was called _empathy_.

But little did he knew, many other emotions cost the life of his existence in order to fully feeling them. Despite that, the most dangerous of all was barely a sign of danger for him, even if it consumed the last bit of his purpose. Regardless of the chances that allowed for him to reset his decision, the god swore he would always take one emotion with open arms. It was Love.

It was a silent day. The Earth decided to rush their path a bit closer toward the sun as he recalled that it was the middle of Spring. The planet appeared cheerful than it had ever been, as it always seemed to be whenever it stepped toward this location. Hongjoong hummed along with the silence of space and cradled the golden river of souls as they followed him through his guidance.

For most of the time, when the clock ticked by and another century passed, his duty was to send them back down on Earth, in a new life and new form, where he only kept the little to last bit of what they remained as the previous being. Most of the other time, when their souls were old and fulfilled enough from the harshness and knowledge of living under the harsh circumstances; where the Earth and the living people have shown. It was then their own duty to return to him and to explode into dust, back to where everything began.

And then he would have to welcome another new wave of souls, where these pure bright stripes would be guided and led toward their beginnings; to obtain the first and foremost knowledge of a human being and live their lives into the actualization of their final stage before they followed the old souls' path and being carried back to where they have been.

It was that night, surprisingly quiet, as he led them, adding them to the list of time book for the day they would land the Earth and being born into the world, and Hongjoong decided to rest a bit before the days of those new souls came, among with other reincarnation spirits. 

He had put them together inside his hourglass and closed his eyes. Yet, soon after, as the light clink of sound echoed against the glass surface of his clock, one soul was flying toward the side of the hourglass, excited and shinny.

Through the years, he knew that new souls tended to be a bit adventurous and curious, and he smiled at the small gesture, clinking back to the glass with his finger as he shook his head.

"I know you're excited, my dear. But just a little bit more, your existence has not yet come into the due day until the sun moves down back to its slumber."

Indeed it was, of where this little soul supposed to be, was a bit still in the high morning of the day. Hongjoong looked at the bright sun shining through the small green land.

But the clink did not stop. It hit the glass harder. The god had appeared surprised at the little soul's excitement and heaved a sigh. He noticed how the soul had been shining brighter than the other ones inside the glass, and he was watching it, a bit questioning. It was his first time seeing such a pure, energetic soul.

"There there, if you keep moving, you will break my hourglass. I will let you out, but only for a moment, and after that, you must return to it so I can take you to where you belong." The soul shone brighter, Hongjoong assumed that it understood him, and this was its way of nodding at his words.

Hongjoong smiled again, gentler at the eagerness, and watched as the little bright yellow (almost white) bounced up and down in the vacuumed air and was swirling around Hongjoong's body. The god laughed.

"You seem to be a bit fired up don't you think? "As the soul spun in a small circle around him again, then this time landing on Hongjoong's palm and sat nicely as if feeling content with what was offering for it. The warm light spread through Hongjoong's hands, and he grinned in enjoyment, having the little friend to talk with. 

After that, Hongjoong floated through the air and talked with the soul on his palms about his world, and his feelings, and what he was learning to understand and interpreted from the things he observed after the endless timeline that went beyond the storiation of a normal being. And despite the lack of form in confirmation, the bright soul, as it still rested in his palms, shone as it had never been. As if it listened. As if it wanted to _understand_ , and wishing to yearn for what he had to confess about the life of the god of stars, and what the universe has led him to be. Hongjoong felt a bit jittery at the actions. For the first time, he didn’t feel the dark, cold, and mysterious place where he stood was as freezing as it had always been. It was warm.

A life where time had never been something Hongjoong could keep track of, he did think it was long and endless, was unnecessary and spiraling. But once the blink of an eye approaches, as he watched the Earth spun toward the direction where the place the soul would have to travel began to darken with the night. Hongjoong sensed a pull in his chest.

Would this how it be?

Though he had learned to cope with it, this time, it made him feel a bit sadder than it should; to partway with the little happiness that he received in such a little span of time.

But he knew he would have to let it go, anyhow.

Yet, the thought still churned his stomach, and he felt a little pang in his heart.

It was the very first time when Hongjoong had such prominent feelings all revolving around his mind at the same time. And he was stunned at the thought of how quickly attached he already was towards the unknown source of the soul that barely began its journey. He fully looked at it, a bit blue at their departure.

The ball of soul had watched him, had looked at the furrow of his brows, and the fiddled of his hourglass, and shone even brighter, where Hongjoong presumed that it seemed almost impossible. The moment where he needed to let the soul go from the inner of his palms, the spark of light suddenly surged toward his chest, making the god widened his eyes in unpreparedness. The warmth was spreading through his chest soon after, where he could see his body sparked even brighter than his starry eyes, and a white aura of blinding light shone through his body and mind before the soul pushed out back from his chest and volunteeringly entered his hourglass.

Hongjoong had watched everything in shock, at the rush of energy immersed inside his chest, and the warm, comforting light lit up the cage in the lungs, where he didn’t need air to breathe, but seeming to overall too greedy in wanting to let any bit of light to escape from his body. He wanted to have all of it, and knowing that a god shouldn't ever be greedy, he was, however, feeling as if that life was the reason for his survival.

And his chest constricted.

As if he had found the purpose for his existence.

The sand inside the hourglass had surrounded the souls, including the bright soul that returned to its place. As the sand buried them beneath the sparkled, white texture, the dashes of light begin to shine under the golden stand of the hour-watch, and Hongjoong stared at all these lights combined together, then shoot throughout the Earth, traveling to where they destined to be.

And then he was all alone. Once again.

He looked at the brightest light that left from his hourglass, and feeling sorrow at the loss of something special, as if he was supposed to be with it, such a pure and energetic soul, such warm and soft-hearted soul, a gentle listener, but a joyful ball of spirit. And he had watched it brightly fell down the peak of the ozone and dropped. Approaching to where it was supposed to belong. By the very first segment of where Aries began.

For once in his existence, Hongjoong felt even lonelier than ever.

* * *

The Earth had been spinning through its path, without a sense of time or space. Still, with a clear knowledge of location and destination, Hongjoong had continued with his jobs in guiding the lost and poor souls toward their rests. Nevertheless, at the end of the day, the rocks of blue would linger on his shoulders like comets striking through the small-size asteroids, pushing them all into vibrant explosions. And he was reminded, thinking about the sweet, little soul.

Ever since that day, he had watched over the tiny figure as it was pulled out and being surrounded by the coziness of its parents. It was a boy.

And his name was Park Seonghwa.

The god had looked at him from above, had tried to say his name, and seeing as the moment the boy opened his glassy and puffy eyes, where Hongjoong's heart clenched, he saw a zillion stars were spinning inside those beautiful orbits. He wanted to touch him. But he couldn't. He wanted to hold on to his little palms, but he couldn't. He wanted to settle him back into his palms, even if it just a moment. But he couldn’t. He felt far away; he felt desperate.

And he felt sad.

And maybe once for all, in the first time of his existence, Hongjoong started questioning if his purpose was truly belong here, to guide these poor souls, leading them to where they must be...

...But where would that lead him?

While all these beautiful stars lied in the places they have wished, somewhere unwanted belonged Hongjoong.

Hongjoong looked at the tiny figure sleeping soundlessly in his father's soothing embrace.

And once for all, Hongjoong knew how to cry.

To weep for his duty and his lack of freedom, where he was so far reached of what he deemed to be the final purpose of his existence, of his path, of his whims.

Of his happiness.

He was weeping until the sun was too shy to show through the spark of light in the Earth. He was weeping until the clouds began to hide his fragile stage behind their fluffiness, and he was weeping until the stars surrounded his alignment and the river of golden light souls was hugging him beneath his feet.

He was weeping until he could hear the answer to his hopeless question.

And he did.

"Is this where you truly found peace upon?" Hongjoong had looked up, lost, and lonely, and despite the gathering of elements around him, he felt truly isolated.

"W-who are you?" He watched around from the dark place but seeing no one. The sound echoed again.

"I am where you come from. I am the universe, you cannot see me because I take in no form to be seen, but I can see you, and I've always been watching you."

Hongjoong sniffed.

"Well, my lovely star." The voice continued, "if this is the final decision you have made, I am in no place to stop you. It is your own will that allows you to do what you want, and it is the excessive thoughts that dragging you back from the floor that you believe you don't necessarily have to be on."

"But...but what about my duty? My title? My..." he hesitated, "my existence?"

The universe was silent, but he could feel a little bit of comfort, at if it was smiling at him, "It shouldn't be called _an existence_ if there's no longer anything worth existing for, would it? Go on, my dear. Follow what makes you have the sense of being existed, of being alive, of being, I shall say, human." And Hongjoong looked up at the words.

"C...can I?"

"I won't be stopping you." The voice boomed back. "Besides, you have been serving me long enough, I do think it should finally be the time for you to rest toward your future return."

He knew what the universe means, to return was a word of saying that he would have to go back and binding into dust again, as where he originally came from. And he nodded, feeling grateful for the chance it gave, eager and hopeful, Hongjoong sobbed in thankfulness at the gift that the universe had decided to give him. And knowing there would be no turn back, Hongjoong had embraced it and stepping on the new path that he now deemed as his new beginning. 

Sometimes after as the last bit of his ancient memory could recall, where Hongjoong's body broke down into the beautiful brightness of red, and he fell down, in the form of a bright comet along the beautiful night sky, where his feet were no longer allowed to waddle through the air, or his arms to be cradled the sea of spirits, where the immortal life had left far from where he wants to form his steps. Hongjoong was contented, was blessed, and was happy with the outcome of his decision. He closed his eyes, and the hourglass exploded along with the white sand, where the universe had promised to send a new god, who would start his old life all over again.

He submerged himself into the November darkness among the stars where the bundle of Scorpio aligned.

* * *

A young lady sits on the hospital bed, gently holding on to the small, tiny figure as she coos in adoration, despite the sweat and tiredness vivid on the top of her forehead. And she smiles at the closing eyes of the tiny form, still fragile and weak for what the actual world has had to offer.

The nurse has cleaned the baby up and handed it to her before she walked away, and the lady rocks the baby gently, sending a little kiss over the red, vulnerable skin of the toweled figure. Waiting for her husband's return as he gets her some food.

The baby seems worn out from crying and inattentively drowning in his sleep, and she keeps with her swaying, eyes set down tenderly at her baby before she hears a knock on the door.

They haven't named their baby yet, neither she and her husband. And regardless of the suggestions coming from both of their families, nothing has seemed right to her mind.

But yesterday, before it was her due day that the woman had taken a nap and dreamed of a strange dream.

It was the universe, she remembers, with the stretched of stars expanding through the endless void without a horizon to stop, and there was a woman, sitting on a small piece of rock, as she looked at her, kindly beaming. She was dressing all black, yet her eyes were shining as if she possessed the entire universe of stars and galaxies inside her two eyes, and the young woman had looked at her, lost and confused.

"Please treat him well." The strange woman had said before everything became a blur, and the woman woke up with a terrible pain in her stomach.

Her husband enters the ward as she confirms that he could come in, and the moment he settles the porridge down on the nightstand table, she looks at him happily, still tenderly rocking her baby from side to side.

"I know what to name him now," she says,

Her husband peaks up in interest. "What is it, honey?"

"Hongjoong." She smiles, bright and merry like the starry night beyond the dark city clouds. "His name is Kim Hongjoong."

⋆⋆⋆

**Author's Note:**

> I’m so fucking sad omg seonghwa first born....SEONGHWA FIRSTBORN SOUL!!!!
> 
> Also for the future where they will end up meeting each other....I will...I will leave that to your inspiring imagination hahaha
> 
> thank you for reading uwu✨


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